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Vanessa Rene

[ website | I'm Back ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Fairwell littleshitnessa! [Oct. 17th, 2007|10:06 am]
[mood | indescribable]
[music |DJ SHADOW- Reconstruction Melody]

I have finally created a new journal, therefore dismissing this one. It is about time that I leave littleshitnessa at peace and emerge from this new journal. I have already added those of you that I wish to remain friends with, however an overglance may have happened. Please let me know if this has occured and add my new journal. There will be an array of entries that will disclose my deepest inner thoughts and emotions to the faintest instillments of my adult path. All in which you will watch this butterfly finally detach from it's chyrsalis and discover the fine beauties of life and it's infinate epiphanies of maturity. So submerge yourselves in this transformation of Vanessa Rene as a Butterfly Reborn.

What you have to look foward to:
*Heart vs. Brain
*Transfiguration
*Upside-down writtings
*Extravagant verbage and vocabulary
*Illustrations of my many forms of art
*Photographs and memories that surpass the most delicate and outlandish words.
*Love
*Life
*Spiritual encounters
*Journeys
*Missions
*Adventures
*Personal insight and perception
+ more to be announced.

Welcome to the abyss.. Submerge yourselves.
www.livejournal.com/users/my_button_nose

Take care.
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Fulfillment. [Oct. 12th, 2007|06:42 pm]
[mood | grateful]
[music |OWEN- Bags of Bones]

My mind is expanding with ideas and information, to an extrodinary extent. I feel like the world is there to flow into my fingertips, with no subjection. The law of gravity is defined with my subconsious authority, at this point. My toes are digging into cloud 9 and this floatation device of divine senses, has me wishing for no interchanges. My blood seems to flow up this mountain of purpose and understandment like the very waterfalls of time. Not a single measurment of this tune I play for an earthly ear could comprehend the true meaning of this love I hold in the webbings of my filanges. The pitches are too complex for the most pure pupils of filteration. My obcipital bone is stretching like the skin I've grown into over the years, and knowledge of this free world is a willfully pounding organ. Arms of air grasp my intentions of education and lively spirit. I throw up these branches of my body into the sky reaching for perfection and grace, because this is the only reason I've made it to this very day. To this day I finally understand my will to respect my brain and it's capabilites.

Thank you.
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My poor throbbing brain. [Oct. 8th, 2007|11:46 pm]
[mood | drained]

Today was a record breaking day for headaches, or should I say a migrane. I can't say that I've ever had a migrane before, but surely I had one today. It was honestly the most painful and horrible feeling I've ever had, that's come from my head. It made me terribly nauseous and I instantaneously became a whimpering baby of sorts. Jcb says it's possibly from the alergies floating around his apartment, and I say it might have been a result of the 17 hour nap I took. Either way, where ever it came from, I never want it to return to my vicinity again. After 2 tylenol's with codene, 3 tylenols, and 1 motrin that my Dadden gave me, I started to feel relief of the pounding and throbbing pressure. Now, I'm here in my bed about to fall asleep and I decided to recollect my day's painful story to remember in my livejournal. I'd write it in my journal, however, I'm just too lazy and comfortable at this point. And to think about it now, I would just write some obscenities and whinny blabber, and to me that is just not worthy of taking up valuable pages in my little superman covered book.

On a positive note, things have been great! School has been absolutely wonderful and my personal life gets better and better each day. I just had a beautiful weekend and tomorrow I'm going to the Suicide Silence show at Glasshouse with Jcb. I cut Garza's hair today and it turned out quite nicely, might I add.

Now I must quickly and suddenly conclude my entry, my vision is starting to get blurry now because I'm so exhausted from today's events. So goodnight and until next time, I hope everyone is well and taking care of themselves!

P.S.
I started a new painting today, I finished the background for the piece and I will hopefully complete it within the next week or two.
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VNess Photography? Hahahahaha, yeahhhhh right. [Oct. 2nd, 2007|06:25 pm]
[mood | silly]
[music |PENDULUM- Fasten Your Seatbelts]

Had a wonderful photoshoot with Tara yesterday.. It was really great just catching up with that woman. I've missed her dearly, I'm glad we were finally able to get together and just fool around with the camera. This was a good one, considering we only spent 1-2 hours walking around, looking for prime spots of scenery. It wasn't supposed to be all serious "photoshoot" esk, but some of the photos turned out very nicely.. Let me know what you think! We had fun none-the-less and to be honest, that's all that matters!

Here are the ones of Tara:
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One of us!!!
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Now here is my vanity spot.. The ones she took of me:
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Okay, I'm done now.. Was that enough pictures for you?! Hahahaha.

Take Care PEOPLE!



Tomorrow I'm going to Knott's Scary Farm with JCB, and this should be an absolute blast! We just celebrated our official 1 month anniversary yesterday.. It's technically on the 31st of each month, however as you know, not every month has 31 days in it. So we're just going to wing it each month. So we're going to Knott's to celebrate! Woo Woo, I'm overly stoked! Oh love love love. ILvYJcb
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Update... [Sep. 28th, 2007|12:03 am]
[mood | thankful]
[music |DION- Tell Me Why]

Just a little refresher of what's been going on with me.. It's nice to be able to come back to something, especially when you don't have much you can trust these days. I really have thought that, family, was one thing you could always rely on. I was sorrily mistaken by that frame-of-mind. It really puts me in a sour mood to think that I can't trust my own blood, to think that I always have to be thinking in a defense and how that person could use what I'm saying/doing to my disadvantage. And there is only one person I really know of that thinks of me 100 times a day, without any selfish thoughts what-so-ever, and will always tell me what's right. Even if that isn't what I want to hear. This person would NEVER do me any harm or try to hurt me in any way, shape, or form. My Dadden, my best friend, my true blood, and the person I believe I firmly represent. I'm a female imprint of him, other than a few quirks here and there. He's organized, I'm not. I'm getting there slowly but surely, it comes with time and maturity. I'm still learning everyday, ya know. I'm forming into this woman and I'm so thrilled yet scared out of my mind, it really is a transformation and transition of sorts.
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We're going to Laughlin, NV this weekend, just the two of us. I haven't been this excited for a trip in YEARS! We go to Laughlin at least once or twice a year and go jet-skiing, family tradition since before I was walking. Since my Dad is the manager of Research and Design for Kawasaki Motors Coorp. there have been a lot of perks in my life, I've been so blessed with the life that I have lived. We usually go with our family (Uncle and my Sister's family) and a few other familys. However this year, it's just my Dadden and me. This is the first vacation I've been on since last year's Laughlin trip and since I've been recovered from my leg injury, I'm going to wild 'n out! So clearly, I'm overly thrilled about this upcoming occasion. It's really going to give me some good Daddy-Daughter time, he grounds and levels me out.
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The Competition: This went great! Excellent experience for my future, even though I didn't win a trophy. I got A LOT of recognition from a few judges, which gave me tremendeous motivation for my future. During the actual competition of the make-up, I had one judge stand over my shoulder and watch my work for literally 10 minutes, and this was only a 30 minute sitting (if that made any sense). The judge said to me, "I love your style, it's different than anything else here." It was such an honor to have someone of such high status in that industry give me those words of affirmation. This person is a multiple National Competition Champion, and a gold medalist in the Olympics/World Champion of make-up and nails. So you can only imagine how much I could appreciate that person's opinion. I supposidly won 4th place out of 51 groups, which isn't half bad for my first competition, there is always room for growth. The make-up that I saw for the winner(s) and remainder of teams were all dark and smokey, mine however was colorful (an full pallet of colors that blended well: copper, green, royal blue, purple, gold). I'll post pictures as soon as I get them..
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I also got tattoo'd a few weeks ago, something very sentimental and close to my heart. My Mother was born with these two blue dots on her lower back, they are called "Mongolian Dots", they represent a sign of pure blood. I remember being so intrigued by them as a child, and I'm very proud of my bloodline. Who wouldn't be proud of 1/2 Korean and 1/2 Irish?! I mean, c'mon.. That's a good mix. Anyways here's some pictures of the process and finished product.
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Updated picture post of yellow + [Sep. 18th, 2007|09:46 pm]
[mood | still]
[music |DOES IT OFFEND YOU, YEAH?- We Are Rockstars]

Tonight I baked some yummy goods for my honey tomorrow. I hope he likes them!



I love you Jcb.




This has become my favorite shirt..

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Before Yellow..

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Now, THAT IS YELLOW. PaaaPoowwwwww!

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My Dad needs to make more of that home brewed beer.. I asked for a case for my 21st birthday in December. It'll be here by October, CHEERS!
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holla back youngin' wooo wooo [Sep. 18th, 2007|12:46 pm]
[mood | loved]
[music |MINUS THE BEAR- Pachuca Sunrise on my SK!]

It's been quite awhile since I've last updated..

First off "Hi Mom! And I love you."

Second is that school is great, I'm really enjoying this whole experience. I have a strong grip on my career path and I'm going full force for it. I can barely wait for my graduation and getting this all started. This has been my passion for my entire life and I don't plan on changing directions. I have the Barristar competition on Monday, which I've been practicing non-stop. It's a team Formal Competition: up-do, make up, and nails. Xavier is my team mate, he will be doing the hair, I will be performing the make up and nails part of the competition. I really can say that I am completely and uterly stoked on this, since this is something I want to do as a part of my career. A Competition Champion.

My hair is yellow for the time being and I fully love it! I'll post a picture once I get on a computer.

Third, I'm in a relationship now. A healthy, beautiful, wonderful, and full time loving relationship. I couldn't be happier in the place I'm at. I'm constantly smiling and only thinking about what the future has in store for us. I'm falling in love and I wouldn't want it any other way. He makes me want to smother him in love and I can barely keep track of where my head is now adays. It's permanently in the clouds and I can't believe this is finally happening to me. I deleted my MySpace just to avoid any unecessary drama or conflict between us, considering that he didn't have one. I'm better off without it and I was just over that whole internet cliche of MySpace. So anything and anyone that get's in the way should be for warned. Nothing could get inbetween what we have. Level? We've been sharing and exploring new aspects of everything, and really just brining out the best in eachother. Oh love love love. I love you JcbScttCt, you're my heart and soul.

That is all for now. I'm off dreaming here at school and just being in complete bliss.

I'm beyond happy.

P.S. I miss LA and all of my friends. We were supposed to go up there on Sunday but we ended up napping until 10pm, so there's always next weekend.

Take Care Everyone!
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FRIENDS [May. 4th, 2007|07:05 pm]
[mood | thoughtful]
[music |GWEN STEFANI- The Sweet Escape]

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GEETAR HERO
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My arm looks fat..
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I love you all!
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word [Apr. 10th, 2007|02:56 pm]
I've been so pre-occupied that I'm almost beyond myself.
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Myspace Ruin's Lives and here I come! [Mar. 25th, 2007|02:19 pm]
[mood | cheerful]
[music |PINBACK- Penelope]

Myspace.com/VanessaReborn
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Don't you just love my picture posts?! DJ Vanity Photoshoot hahaha Alisha + AZN [Mar. 20th, 2007|02:54 pm]
[Current Location |Mechanical Mann Auto Service]
[mood | good]
[music |GABRIEL & DREDSENT [FT. MOLLY]- Tracking Treasure Down]

Alisha Capalety and myself have a fabulous day yesterday I must say.. One of the best we've had since our under the blanket smoke out after Togo's the very first time we ever discovered our duo. I really do enjoy her company, she is such an awesome girl with beautiful things to offer this world. Talented in countless series of ways: funny as hell, stylish, best eater I've ever seen, patient, kind, and so much fun! We went to OCC to talk to my dean about finally enrolling in my Interpersonal Communications class haha which is 5 weeks in already! I've attended all of my classes but I just have procrastinated on the registering part... if they don't allow me to enroll I will just continue to sit in throughout the semister and learn since that is what I'm there for. FUCK CREDITS AND DEGREES! We ran into some d00d that we met at a grocery store awhile back and that we saw at 30c once in a blue annoying moon, I thoroughly enjoy fucking with those kind of people. We continued on to Buffalo Exchange where I saw my James again with his lovely boyfriend. I always enjoy the suprised run-in's we have together, they make my day so much more enjoyable when you run into a good friend by suprise. Off then we went to the Salvation Army where we found some good finds but no good buys, however I can't help but always enjoying myself whenever I go there... So many good memories... Aaron Bro's was next to pick up some drafting tape and an Xcto for Alisha; a short stop. Laguna Hills mall was a great achievement on my part where I found 3 pieces for $10 at Sillouette... so amazing! Then we went to Corner Bakery to where our Vogue started... Proceed with eyeshock VANITY caution.. Prepare yourselves and hold on to your jockstraps!
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Then we went back to my house all fat and happy and painted our lil' ass's off.. Here are a few pictures/previews of a few of my paintings.. kinda. I'll post them in a later entry, promise! I have a total of 4 so far and after this I'm meeting up with Alisha to paint some more so I will most likely have another to post as well. :) Take Care Everyone!!!
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Lump sum [Mar. 17th, 2007|01:03 pm]
[mood | awake]
[music |MUSE- Maps of Problematique]

Quite a bit to update and numerous pictures!!! I hope you enjoy this entry because I had an awesome time making these memories and fantastic people to share them with. I'm about to go to the gym and I'm waiting for my phone to charge a little bit before I go so I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to go gnar gnar on this entry. I've been lagging HUGE because of my constant delayed reaction for livejournal and some of this will date back to a couple of weeks or so..

I went to LA and got my hair done, this has been something that has been far too long needed of an update. I've had the same hair style for over a year and needed something desperately new. So I got it when I went to my Mom's salon in Hollywood, Tower 40 Salon. Eh if you're interested otherwise skip to the next few sentences; Golden brown on the top and back paneled throughout my hair as well, blue black and platinum panels, and a pretty brown base. It's different and I love it hahahaha I'm a hair nerd. After this all I of course visited my beloved Culver City and visited some friends. Went to Louie's house, went to a nice dinner, and met up with everyone for Tequila Fridays!! Woo Woo, this was a good time... Got a little hyphy and danced with my drunkass self for awhile, no complaints what-so-ever here! We left a little early, went to a liquor store to get more hyphy in the lot and met some interesting folks. A man with a little harmonica neckalace with he played actually very well, and a bum that Gio gave a sparks to and I gave him a dollar to. "Vanessa! This is LA you can't talk to bums here they'll chase after you!" hahaha "But but they have the most interesting things to say!!!" I had a good time. Then we went to Fat Burger and had some dank food where Sam passed out on the napkin holder..
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Again Tara Kier and myself have been sharing some nice time together and I enjoy her company so much. We went to the Red Sea with Kelly and enjoyed some quality hookah time, Kelly is a gorgeous girl with a lot of talent. Super nice and a brilliant smile! Had some wierd interactions with this d00d when we were hookahing-it-up, I don't remember his name but he was very drunk and a little let's say out there in his verbal nature. Tara was Tara, I love her so much haha, and she gave him a difficult time while he tried standing next to our table to carry on a much unwanted conversation with the three of us. I was the quiet one, Kelly was the pleasant one, and Tara was amazing. He finally left when Tara "unknowingly" blew cigarette smoke in his vacinity and he walked away all butthurt and saying that if Tara was a dude he'd crack her. Luckily she has a vagina otherwise I'm sure she'd be able to kick his ass either way. I saw some people from my highschool, always in Lake Forest do I see someone I know where ever I usually go, and it was actually pleasant thing. It's nice to know not everyone is still in that high school rut and that some people have grown up.
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Now this was my favie fav fav! Maile, Justine, and myself went to see Diplo at Safari Sam's on the 13th. WE HAD A GREAT MOTHERFUCKING TIME! We got some Rasberry Bacardi with got the best of me by the end of the night, which I will elaborate further on in a minute, got hyphy some mo, had a great dance party to ourselves, and met up with the Culver City boys. These girls are in my Life Group and are amazing girls that I feel so blessed to have met. Absolutely beautiful and completely wonderful just in how they are... I saw James there and met his boyfriend finally, it was such a pleasant and complete suprise to see him there! James will always stand close to my heart, and it was almost like it was meant to be. :) We had an excellent time dancing for the first few DJ's and Check Yo Pony Tail played Daft Punk!!!! I went wild for that one and I can't wait to see Daft Punk play soon at the LA Convention Center! I'm gettin off track here but the girls had a good time with the DJ/Band, haha Maile was all over the female singer, slappin' that ass, and she actually was diggin' it. SO MUCH FUN! I enjoy dancing by myself for only God knows why but I tend to have a better time because I move around a lot I think. I got a little too drunk when Culver City arrived and I passed out actually for pretty much Diplo's entire set because I thought I was going to have to drive home so I was trying to be responsible and sleep it off a little. Justine luckily drove us home responsibly, because the sleeping didnt do much. I was completely bummed in the fact that I missed Diplo's set but there's always next time.. However I still had one of the best times ever!
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Tara Kier has a glow! [Mar. 7th, 2007|07:38 pm]
[Current Location |HOME HOME HOME]
[mood | anxious]
[music |TOO $HORT- Keep Bouncin']

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Spent the past two days with Tara and I probably enjoyed myself more than I expected I was, meerly on the fact that I wasn't expecting anything. It was such a spontaneous moment getting into eachothers lives once again, I missed her more than I knew I did. Started off with going to San Clemente tracks and taking pictures by the beach, this has become a tradition for us it seems. I couldnt complain simply because what would there be to complain about? I wish I could have gotten the pictures I took of her uploaded on my photobucket, I'll try to post them later. She is such a beautiful individual and the pictures that we got were out of this world! We went to sushi, had a few laughs, and went back to her house where I fell asleep around 10:30. I had some outlandish dreams, woke up around 8:30 and called my work to let them know I would be taking a day off to rest. Ate a blueberry waffle and cashew butter organic breakfast and played on her computer for some while trying to upload the pictures, which didn't work :(!I let Tara sleep in and then tried to wake her up around 11:00, decided to let her sleep in more and started my love letter. She walks in with her glow as I'm writting and we continue the morning on her deck overlooking San Clemente beach. I rewrote and proofed my love letter looking at the wonderful enviroment as she took care of her glow, this was a great moment for the both of us. We drove to my house where I made her my Dad's famous french toast, showed her my paintings, took a nap while she got ready, and charged my IPOD. Picked up some work from Mechanical Mann, which I have yet to start! Dropped off the love letter off of Pico at his work, so nerve wracking, and then took Tara home. She was there for me to support me through my tough times and has never given up on me. Tara Kier is and will be one of my best friends until we both perish. I won't ever give her up, end of story.

Now I'm off for my first study session!
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Nothing short of extravagant and what more can I ask? [Mar. 4th, 2007|01:07 am]
[mood | crappy]
[music |SOMEONE STILL LOVES YOU BORIS YELTSIN- House Fire]

I feel good about myself, it's extraordinary how things change... How people grow up, don't ever grow up, become complacent with the things that will never change, never change ourselves just our outside persona (it's who you are and have become), and learning how to never just stop loving someone but just becoming one without them. The intrapersonal alteration doesn't happen unless it's you, yourself, who in actuality wants the change in your own thought pattern/process. Another human being could never, realistically, change another human being fully or even partially. It's a persuasion or an influence that is enforced upon another's mind that will subsequently have an effect on that person, but never truly changing them. You fall in love with a person knowing all of the things, well at least we come to think, that the person has to offer. Why do we expect more or to think that we can "mold" them into the perfect significant other that we yearn for? Don't expect more and don't anticipate less than the person that you initially fell for, that in my mind is where the descending starts in most relationships.
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When will it be my time to be understood? When is my "kingdom" arriving? I want someone to see me, Vanessa Rene Bozych, and truly comprehend my standings. I am really not that complicated of a person, but I am known to be a “walking contradiction”, however I’m making a conscious effort to be as true and forward as I’ve ever been. And that’s the damn truth! Do I really have the time to be doddling around, frolicking in the flowers and grass waiting for my secret garden gate to appear? I have been waiting on my hands and knees thinking I have found some significance in this world of the male species, yet I feel highly unappreciated and misunderstood more than ever. I don’t need anyone to survive on this earth, but when I make a conscious full effort and put things almost completely 100% aside just on one word (your real-voice in itself can make me melt inside) and then I get no response from you… THIS BLOWS MY FUCKING MIND. I have to stop doing this to myself; I can’t rely on a relationship or even a retarded friendship to render my day-to-day routine. Friend’s don’t leave friends just hanging without telling them at least what’s going on, that's why it's retarded. Friend’s tell each other what they don’t want to hear, not what they think they want to hear. Are you real or fake? I need at least a little structure and not a completely “flakey fall tree” that may call when they say they are going to hang out so we can possibly up-hold any minuscule amount of an amazing blessing was given to us or that may still exist. I know that I probably don’t deserve any amount of this individual’s time, but for God’s sake tell me that! Don’t tell me that you want this and that, but in reality you want some who knows how many years of your life to dilly-dally around, and have my neck tied to an albatross attached to your belt until you feel it’s time or convenient for you to actually move forward. If that’s what you want, then tell me that, be an adult and handle this accordingly. Tell me you want to wait until you’re done getting your dick wet enough times to forgive me for my ungodly 3 day’s of shit that I went through. We wore each other down and I am far more at fault that you will ever be in that situation. My mind was just all fucked up and didn’t know how to handle the situations I was put into with you and your whole group, that caused me to almost become someone completely opposite of who I was and out of my element. I got a grasp of that now… I repent and feel just about repulsed by the things that I did to you and should have never done to you, but at least you know what I’ve done and where my intentions stand. I have been nothing but truthful and willing to stand wherever I am allowed, with nothing but the utmost respect, and have not gotten much other than worrying about you every 20 minutes of the day. How am I supposed to react or feel when someone just disappears from underneath my nose, without even a remote goodbye or hey I've got other plans? This is almost too much for me… I am one of the best people at giving people their space, but I somehow can’t help but think of where you are and how you are. Where are you? How are you? I’ll never truly know.
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Honestly, all I can do is just try to be as cordial and truthful as humanly possible to you. I want to have a friendship with you if that’s all that can be offered, but I can’t be held by an albatross. It’s like trying to screw in a light bulb with an 11 foot ceiling, in a completely empty room with no doors or windows, all I have is a 2 foot ladder and my 5’4’’ self . How will this work?
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Wudup! [Feb. 27th, 2007|01:29 pm]
[Current Location |Sissy's house]
[mood | busy]
[music |Syncronized noise]

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What do you think this means?


I'm Free and Aware.
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I've got my calling... I think. Do you know and have yours? Maybe it's time to figure that out, because we are all here for a reason. I will be here to help, if that's my supposed purpose, whenever the time arrives for you.
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MY RIGHT REPRESENTS MY STRONG ARM OF GOD! ...Oh did I just say that? Is it the 4th of July already?! [Feb. 22nd, 2007|04:54 pm]
[mood | determined]
[music |DIPLO- 11]

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I'm trying to be a Body-Builder here... CAN'T YOU PEOPLE TELL?!
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Go ahead... throw-up them guns! Make my day.
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Rocky Balboa quote [Feb. 21st, 2007|11:05 am]
[Current Location |My car waiting for my sister @ her work]
[mood | optimistic]
[music |DAFT PUNK- High Life]

"It ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving foward."
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Too Long?
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I doubt I will ever forget '07 Valentine's Day. Highly doubt it. [Feb. 18th, 2007|06:10 am]
[mood | contemplative]
[music |Try sitting in silence and THINKING. It gets intense]

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One Valentine's Day joint for myself in the driveway of my home. This is where all of my strange hallucinations began, and I saw most of them it in a light post directly across the way. It went from this ^ to being taken somewhat against my will in an ambulance with a pulse rate of close to or over 200 heartbeats per minute. I was screaming bloody murder before an actual human intervention occured and had to literally chase someone up the street for some help... Crazy? To be honest I really can't specify exactly what went on or if it was even remotely real. I'm going to skip some other details of the trip for website space... From 12-4 in the morning: I saw what I had thought was satan and my Dad's tortured/manipulated face with a bullet hole in his forehead on that light post (having to completely accept my Dad dying in front of my eyes). I had to prepare and comply to being shot in the head (murdered), by a complete stranger, after being curbed and having both of my legs broken in front of my house. TORTURE(D). Fast foward to when 911 was called, I then went to thinking that there was some sort of police conspiracy murder(s) and if I didn't keep quiet I'd be next to end up being buried in some ditch (this one probably was false and a result of my actual mental state being completely overwhelmed). Now can anyone grasp why I was in the hospital or why my pulse rate was off the charts? Of course not and I don't expect anyone to either. 51/50? How about we just call it a "Nervous Breakdown" so then I'll be considered a human being and not some creature for everyones individual lab tests'. I went to UCI to find out if what happened is a chemical inbalance in my body or if I have something completely not of this world, like my faith evolving. Believe it or not I was completely honest with what was going on and what had happened to me with the hallucinations that occured on Valentine's Day. According to the many nurses and psych it's just a THC withdrawl and I'm completely okay? I guess the 16 years of medical school she had couldn't give me any sort of valid help other than some THC withdrawl something of another syndrome title and a sheet of paper that showed us clinics that are more prompt and willing to take patients without insurance? They took a few blood and other tests at both facilities I went to for help, I'm okay chemically wise as the doctors have said, like I always have been and believed to be so I will come to accept this as just another journey. Exciting, scary, or unrealistic?


I could write a damn book on the things that I saw, but I choose to keep my individual state-of-mind secluded. For reasons that I don't want to sound too crazy to you livejournalers, because I even think I possibly could be going insane. Again with the hypersensitivity/schizophrenia? That's what I'm trying to figure out... Thank you for reading. :)
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Hypersensitive/Schizophrenic? [Feb. 12th, 2007|03:08 pm]
[Current Location |Home]
[mood | excited]
[music |MUSE- Starlight]

Oh. My. GOD?!
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I really can say that I'm trying. Sincerely, genuinely, and for me this time around. No time for anything else other than the honest to Vanessa, and this is all I have/can offer. I am no where near perfect nor am I trying for that, I'm just trying to find my own way for true happiness. And I fucking mean that. The true test will be when the time comes together and how it all unravels, I can only hope for the real truth and meaning.
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Where is my life? [Feb. 3rd, 2007|12:52 am]
[mood | shocked]
[music |CASCADA- Ready For Love]

Oh it's called a 360.
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